datingglossary

datingglossary

A dictionary of modern dating terms: what each word means, where it came from, what it is confused with, and when it was last checked.

Dating vocabulary changes faster than most people have any reason to keep up with. A word turns up in a message, in a profile, in something your daughter says at dinner, in a headline about people half your age — and asking what it means feels like admitting more than you wanted to. Look it up here instead.

Six parts, every entry
Meaning, how it looks in life, where it came from, what it is confused with, what it is not, and the date we checked.
Dated on purpose
A term that was everywhere two years ago can already be a period marker. A dictionary that hides its age is worse than none.
No advice, ever
Nothing here says whether to worry or what to do next. It says what people mean by a word — usually the actual question.
The six parts of an entry, in the order they appear: the headword; one sentence of meaning that stands on its own; two or three scenes of ordinary use; where the word came from, or a plain statement that this is not established; the neighbouring words it gets swapped with; what the word does not cover; and the month a human last checked it.
DiagramThe shape every entry on this site holds to, including the two parts most glossaries leave out.

The A–Z index

A

  • aromanticAromantic meaning, defined plainly: people who experience little or no romantic attraction. Origin, the aromantic spectrum, look-alike terms and limits.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • asexualAsexual meaning, put plainly: a self-chosen label for people who feel little or no sexual attraction. Ace spectrum, origin, look-alikes, and limits.currentchecked Aug 2026

B

  • banksyingBanksying meaning in dating: the quietly prepared breakup, where the word came from, how it differs from a slow fade. Checked August 2026.risingchecked Aug 2026
  • bicuriousBicurious meaning, defined plainly: curiosity about attraction to a gender someone has not pursued, without claiming a settled bisexual identity.risingchecked Aug 2026
  • body countBody count meaning in dating slang: the number of sexual partners someone has had. Where the phrase came from, what it excludes, and why it is contested.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • breadcrumbingBreadcrumbing meaning in plain terms: where the dating word came from, how it is used, what it is confused with, and what it does not mean. Checked August 2026.currentchecked Aug 2026

C

  • catfishingCatfishing meaning, defined plainly: pretending to be someone else online, where the word came from, what it is confused with, and what it does not cover.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • codependencyCodependency meaning in plain terms: where the word came from, how it drifted from addiction literature into everyday dating talk, and what it does not mean.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • compersionCompersion means pleasure at a partner's happiness with someone else. The definition, where the word came from, and the terms it gets confused with.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • courtingCourting meaning, defined plainly: dating with a stated end goal. Where the word came from, how courting differs from dating, and what it does not promise.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • cushioningCushioning meaning in plain terms: where the dating word came from, how it is used, what it is confused with, and what it does not mean. Checked August 2026.currentchecked Aug 2026

D

  • deluluDelulu meaning in dating: the K-pop fandom origin, how it differs from delusional and manifesting, and what it does not mean. Checked August 2026.risingchecked Aug 2026
  • demisexualDemisexual meaning, defined plainly: sexual attraction felt only after a strong emotional bond forms. Origin on the AVEN forums, look-alike terms, limits.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • DTRDTR meaning, defined plainly: define the relationship. What the abbreviation covers, where it came from, and what those three letters mean outside dating.currentchecked Aug 2026

E

  • ENMENM meaning in dating: what ethical non-monogamy covers, where the abbreviation came from, and how it differs from open, poly and swinging.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • enmeshmentEnmeshment meaning in plain terms: where the word came from, how it is used, what it is confused with, and what it does not mean. Checked August 2026.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • exclusiveWhat does exclusive mean in dating: two people agreeing to see only each other. Origin of the usage, how it differs from official, and what it does not cover.currentchecked Aug 2026

H

  • hard launchHard launch meaning: the public, unambiguous reveal of a relationship online. Definition, origin, confusable terms, and limits. Checked 2026-08-26.currentchecked Aug 2026

I

  • infatuationInfatuation meaning in plain terms: the definition, where the word came from, infatuation vs love, look-alike terms, and what it does not mean.currentchecked Aug 2026

L

  • lavender marriageLavender marriage meaning, defined plainly: a marriage that presents as straight while at least one spouse is not. Origin, look-alike terms, and limits.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • limerenceLimerence meaning, defined plainly: an involuntary state of obsessive romantic longing named by psychologist Dorothy Tennov. Origin, look-alikes, limits.risingchecked Aug 2026

M

  • micro-cheatingMicro cheating meaning in plain terms: what the word covers, where it came from, why its boundary is disputed, and what it does not mean. Checked August 2026.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • monkey barringMonkey barring meaning in dating: the term's origin, how it differs from monkey branching and cushioning, and what it does not mean. Checked August 2026.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • monogamishMonogamish means a mostly monogamous couple with narrow agreed exceptions. Definition, documented origin, and what it is not. Checked 2026-08-26.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • monogamyMonogamy meaning, defined plainly: one partner at a time, by agreement. Origin of the word, how it differs from exclusivity, and what it does not cover.currentchecked Aug 2026

N

  • NRENew relationship energy meaning, defined plainly: the euphoric early-stage rush named in polyamorous communities. NRE origin, look-alikes, and what it is not.risingchecked Aug 2026

P

  • pansexualPansexual meaning, put plainly: attraction regardless of gender, how the word differs from bisexual, where it came from, and what it does not claim.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • parasocial relationshipParasocial relationship meaning: a one-sided bond with someone who does not know you exist. Origin in mid-1950s media research, look-alikes, and limits.risingchecked Aug 2026
  • platonicPlatonic meaning in plain terms: the definition, where the word came from, how a platonic relationship differs from look-alike terms, and what it does not mean.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • polyamoryPolyamory meaning, defined plainly: multiple romantic relationships with everyone's knowledge, why it sits inside ENM, and what the word does not cover.currentchecked Aug 2026

S

  • sapiosexualSapiosexual meaning, defined plainly: a self-description for people who say intelligence is what attracts them. Origin, look-alikes, why it is contested.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • sneaky linkSneaky link meaning in dating slang: the definition, where the phrase came from, how it differs from a booty call or FWB, and what it does not mean.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • stashingStashing meaning in plain terms: what the dating word describes, where it came from, what it is confused with, and what it does not mean. Checked August 2026.currentchecked Aug 2026

T

  • the ickIck meaning in dating: the sudden turn-off, where the phrase came from, how it differs from a red flag or a dealbreaker. Checked August 2026.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • thirst trapThirst trap meaning in plain terms: what the phrase names, where it came from, how it differs from a hard launch or a catfish. Checked August 2026.currentchecked Aug 2026
  • throupleThrouple meaning: a romantic relationship between three people who are all involved with each other. How it differs from a triad, a vee and polyamory.currentchecked Aug 2026

Where to start

Four states a reader arrives in. The sections of the dictionary are further down and answer a different question — which category a word belongs to — which is rarely the question anyone actually has.

  • I heard a word and have no idea what it means

    Type it into the field above. Every headword the dictionary carries is on this page, including the ones still being written, so a word either has an entry or is visibly on the list.

    Go to the index

  • I want to know how this word differs from that one

    Every entry has a section for exactly that, and a diagram that draws the boundary rather than describing it. Neighbouring words are the hardest part of this vocabulary and the part most glossaries skip.

    Commonly confused

  • I saw it on a dating profile and want to know what it signals

    Profile shorthand is its own dialect: initialisms, self-descriptions and arrangement words that carry more meaning inside a community than outside it. Two sections cover it.

    Identity and orientation words

  • I want to know whether the word is still current

    Each headword carries a state — current, rising or dated — and the month a human last went over the sources. A slang dictionary that hides its age is a period document pretending to be a reference.

    Recently checked

Last checked

Rising

Terms being looked up more often than they were — the intake lane of the dictionary.

Words that get swapped

  • ENM vs polyamory

    One is the umbrella, the other is a structure under it. Most arguments about non-monogamy start here.

  • demisexual vs asexual

    Neighbouring self-descriptions on the same spectrum, and regularly collapsed into each other.

  • infatuation vs limerence

    Everyday word, clinical-ish word. The second came out of psychological writing and kept some of that weight.

  • hard launch vs soft launch

    Both describe going public. The difference is how much of the other person is visible.

Same word, other meaning

Three headwords whose everyday sense has nothing to do with dating. Entries say so in the first line.

  • banksyingnot the street artistquietly preparing to end a relationship
  • monkey barringnot the playground framemoving to the next partner without letting go of the current one
  • catfishingnot the fishing methodusing someone else’s photos and identity online

Where the words come from

Dating vocabulary is the mixed stock of words English uses to describe courtship, attachment and contact — some of it centuries old, some of it younger than the apps that produced it. Four streams feed it, and a word behaves differently depending on which one it came out of.

A clinical borrowing is a term that entered ordinary speech from a book or a research literature and then broadened: limerence and enmeshment both travelled that way. A platform coinage refers to a word that appeared because an app made some pattern of contact common enough to need a name, and that is the route behind the newest vocabulary in this dictionary. The older words have a print record a lexicographer can follow — the romantic sense of date is set out in Etymonline's entry for the word — while the newer ones may have no traceable first use at all.

Four sources of dating vocabulary read twice. In clinical and academic writing a word has criteria and a literature behind it; in general use it becomes a description anyone can apply. In a community it is precise and internal; outside it broadens. On apps and feeds it names a pattern of contact; in general use it becomes a complaint. In press and screens it is a story; afterwards it is a label.
DiagramWhere a word started decides how much it still carries once ordinary speech has finished with it.

How this dictionary works

Definitions, not advice

Every entry answers what a word means and where it came from. What to do about a situation is a different kind of page and is not this one.

Origins where they exist

Some of these words have a traceable first use in print; many do not. Consider any coinage whose origin is only ever given as "reportedly": entries say which is which, and never invent a story to fill the gap.

Dated, because slang moves

Each entry carries a state and a checked month. A slang dictionary without dates is a historical document pretending to be current.

Questions people ask

Each answer stands on its own. The link goes to the entry that gives the origin, the neighbouring words and the boundary of the term — but the answer here is the answer.

What is a slang word for dating?

There is no single one. The vocabulary splits by what it names: the rhythm of contact between two people, the visibility of a relationship to everyone else, the status two people have agreed on, and the internal state one of them is in. A word from one group rarely substitutes for a word from another.

Dating slang, defined and dated

What does it mean if someone is breadcrumbing you?

It means the contact arriving is small, irregular and non-committal — a reaction to a story, a reply days later, a plan floated and never fixed — and does not build toward a meeting or a defined relationship. The word names the shape of the contact, not the person sending it.

Breadcrumbing

What does DTR mean in slang?

DTR is short for “define the relationship”: the conversation in which two people state what they are to each other. The letters name the act of naming — not the answer it produces, and not any particular status. Outside dating the same three letters carry unrelated meanings.

DTR

What does hard launch mean?

A hard launch is the public, unambiguous announcement of a relationship on social media: a post that shows a partner’s face and frames them as a partner, leaving nothing for followers to decode. The phrase is borrowed from product-launch vocabulary.

Hard launch

What is the difference between ENM and polyamory?

ENM is the umbrella; polyamory is one shape underneath it. Ethical non-monogamy says only that non-exclusivity is disclosed and agreed to by everyone involved. Polyamory describes more than one romantic relationship held at the same time. Every polyamorous arrangement is ENM by definition; the reverse does not follow.

ENM

Are these words diagnoses?

No. Several of them — limerence, enmeshment, codependency — began in clinical or research writing, and each entry says so. As used in dating conversation they are descriptions, not assessments, and nothing on this site identifies or evaluates anyone. Where a question needs a professional, the entry says so and stops.

Words for states

More of them, grouped by section, are on the frequently asked questions page.

What this dictionary claims

Every entry says

  • What a word means in current use
  • Where it came from, when that can be traced
  • Which word it gets confused with, and why
  • What the word does not cover
  • The month the sources were last gone over

No entry says

  • Whether a label fits any particular person
  • What anyone should do about a situation
  • That a word is evidence about someone
  • An origin story, where none is established

The rule behind both columns is the same one: where a page cannot stand behind something, it says so and stops. The about page sets out how that is applied, and the editorial policy sets out what happens when we get something wrong.

Recently gone over

The entries most recently re-read end to end. A card here carries the headword, the state of the word and the month it was last checked — the three things a dictionary reader decides on.

  • Acurrent

    aromantic

    Aromantic meaning, defined plainly: people who experience little or no romantic attraction. Origin, the aromantic spectrum, look-alike terms and limits.

    Read the entryChecked Aug 2026

  • Acurrent

    asexual

    Asexual meaning, put plainly: a self-chosen label for people who feel little or no sexual attraction. Ace spectrum, origin, look-alikes, and limits.

    Read the entryChecked Aug 2026

  • Brising

    banksying

    Banksying meaning in dating: the quietly prepared breakup, where the word came from, how it differs from a slow fade. Checked August 2026.

    Read the entryChecked Aug 2026

  • Brising

    bicurious

    Bicurious meaning, defined plainly: curiosity about attraction to a gender someone has not pursued, without claiming a settled bisexual identity.

    Read the entryChecked Aug 2026

  • Bcurrent

    body count

    Body count meaning in dating slang: the number of sexual partners someone has had. Where the phrase came from, what it excludes, and why it is contested.

    Read the entryChecked Aug 2026

  • Bcurrent

    breadcrumbing

    Breadcrumbing meaning in plain terms: where the dating word came from, how it is used, what it is confused with, and what it does not mean. Checked August 2026.

    Read the entryChecked Aug 2026

Every entry on the site, grouped by section, is in the full catalogue.

Sections

  • Open6 terms

    ENM, polyamory, throuple, compersion, monogamish — the words for relationship structures with more than two people in them, defined without advocacy.

  • Feelings6 terms

    Limerence, enmeshment, codependency, infatuation, parasocial attachment — words for internal states, defined plainly and without diagnosis.

  • App-era6 terms

    Breadcrumbing, micro-cheating, catfishing, stashing, cushioning, monkey barring — the named behaviours of app dating, defined and dated.

  • Identity6 terms

    Demisexual, sapiosexual, aromantic, asexual, pansexual, bicurious — orientation and identity terms, defined as people use them about themselves.

  • Status6 terms

    DTR, exclusivity, hard launch, courting, platonic, lavender marriage — the words for where a relationship stands and what shape it takes.

  • Slang6 terms

    The ick, delulu, sneaky link, thirst trap, body count, banksying — current dating slang with its origin and a checked date on every entry.

The intake lane

New words, and words that moved

One message a week, and only in a week when something actually changed.

What arrives
Entries added, entries re-checked, and the short note on what changed in the word.
What never does
Advice about your situation, anything sold, and any week in which nothing moved.